It seemed surreal at first. She kept thinking to herself “wow I did that.” Her friend laughed and said “yeah you did that.” Hearing the confirmation did not change the sensation she felt. A sense of awe, accomplishment and confidence or something like it. She had published her first book and was looking at it on Amazon staring back at her from the computer screen. She wrote the book as a test, just to learn the process of self-publishing. The content was hers and she was caught off guard by the emotions the finished product triggered.

This was my reaction at the beginning of the month when my book A Heathen’s Calling went live for sale. I thought I knew what to expect considering I wrote the material, did the cover and approved the copy. My expectations were unexplainable at the time. I placed an order for copies for my local readers. While I waited for them to arrive, I worked on getting the book ready for digital format. Once the paperback and Kindle versions were available, one would think the shock would have worn off.

NOPE!

The Independence Day fireworks had nothing on the emotional rupture that took place July 5th when I opened the just delivered box containing my books. MY books! There they were, two glossy stacks of books bearing my name as the author. Holding one in my hand the tears started to fall.

For all the dreams that got pushed to the side while life demanded decisions that were not favored but necessary, it was finally here. The result of a season I never asked for but survived, A Heathen’s Calling is part one of my testimony. And it’s published and available for purchase in two versions.

There are tons of articles on writing, but no one writes about the emotional shock that can  come with it.

It’s bittersweet because my dad is not here to see it. But he is here in spirit, not just in my heart but in my words. It was his passing that led to my blogging journey. Every post on my first blog was written under a cloud of grief. I wrote the words of encouragement to keep myself from falling into the unknown depths of sorrow that I did not wish to discover. And now, as the second anniversary of my dad’s death approaches, my story is being told.

Thankfully, my mom is still here to celebrate with me and I’m grateful for her. She’s always encouraged my writing efforts and wanted to see me use the gift she recognized early in my life.

A Heathen’s Calling is the beginning. The book of my vision is scheduled to be released later this summer. The accomplishment of this moment is still shocking to me. Going through the publishing process I considered this my guinea pig of sorts. Now I realize it is the proof of the trial I went through and the grace that traveled with me. It’s here for the world to read.

I pray you are encouraged and find inspiration to continue pushing through the trials of life. Be on the lookout for my next book, Grace in the Crossroads of Life, which will be out soon. Keep praying, keep pushing, keep loving and living.